We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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