I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize