Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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