I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
