yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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