i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
