Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
