i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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