She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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