I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
