He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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