Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
