My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
