i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
