I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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