TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
