Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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