mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
