I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
