Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
