got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
