got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
