If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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