And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i barfeds in our rink
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize