C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My ATM looks so different sober.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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