How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
