Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
