So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
