So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
