Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
