I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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