Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
