can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
