Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
