Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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