i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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