I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
