I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
