dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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