I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
