So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
