haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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