Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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