I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
