and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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