party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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