How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
