The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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