idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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