is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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