I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
