There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize