you would pick up someone in the library
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
