Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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