I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
