just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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