i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
