After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
