Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
