I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize